Thursday, May 28, 2009

Tanattitude

Here it is, the sequel to my first blog. I've been keeping a word document on my desktop entitled "Blog Ideas" so when I think of a blogelicious bit I put it in there, so far nothing has been all that good. So I haven't blogged, nobodies missing it so what does it matter? Then tonight I was writing to my mom, some know her as "Housewife Savant". To me she's mom, to my kitties she's "Gammie" (to her they are affectionatly called her"Grandkitties"). You can tell we're related because we both love these () (cha!)
So I was writing to my mom, and it was funny as h***, then I thought-"Wow, this is funny as h***! I should totally blog this!" So here is is My Blog Part duece.

I went tanning again tonight, I think that makes 7 days straight. We West girls are many things and one of them is frugal. I bought a month of tanning and I'll be d***ed if I miss one day. (Actually I may have missed Memorial Day), but other than that I'm milking this month-o-tan for all it's worth. Tonight the girl at the desk remembered my name.
"That's right tan chick, you'll be seeing plenty of me around. Not only will you know my name, but you'll start to recognize that smell that I leave behind in the tan clam and you'll grow to like it."
The husband's probably thinking "If she used the gym membership like she uses the month-o-tan she'd be so fit." But to that supposed thought I would say:
"If I'm tan I LOOK thinner, and that's so much easier!" I'm going to keep on tanning until the color of my nips is no longer a defining darker color. That's how tan I'll get. AND I will tan upside down, to get my feet nice and dark so when I wear my leather AE flip flops it looks like I'm barefoot. THAT's how tan I'll get. The husband's leaving tomorrow to visit his family for the weekend, I warned him that the half naked black woman that he'll see sitting on the sofa, on my computer when he gets back, that'd be me. That's how tan I'll get.

2 comments:

  1. You'll say, "I'm so tan..."
    To which your listeners (and flocks of readers you'll get on your blog) will ask, "How tan ARE you?"
    ...and then you'll say something funny that I can't think of right now cuz I've been sick all day.

    The smell...ew, maybe it's another "West thing."

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  2. I'm so tan I look like two Oompa Loompas stacked on top of each other.

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