Tanattitude

Here it is, the sequel to my first blog. I've been keeping a word document on my desktop entitled "Blog Ideas" so when I think of a blogelicious bit I put it in there, so far nothing has been all that good. So I haven't blogged, nobodies missing it so what does it matter? Then tonight I was writing to my mom, some know her as "Housewife Savant". To me she's mom, to my kitties she's "Gammie" (to her they are affectionatly called her"Grandkitties"). You can tell we're related because we both love these () (cha!)
So I was writing to my mom, and it was funny as h***, then I thought-"Wow, this is funny as h***! I should totally blog this!" So here is is My Blog Part duece.

I went tanning again tonight, I think that makes 7 days straight. We West girls are many things and one of them is frugal. I bought a month of tanning and I'll be d***ed if I miss one day. (Actually I may have missed Memorial Day), but other than that I'm milking this month-o-tan for all it's worth. Tonight the girl at the desk remembered my name.
"That's right tan chick, you'll be seeing plenty of me around. Not only will you know my name, but you'll start to recognize that smell that I leave behind in the tan clam and you'll grow to like it."
The husband's probably thinking "If she used the gym membership like she uses the month-o-tan she'd be so fit." But to that supposed thought I would say:
"If I'm tan I LOOK thinner, and that's so much easier!" I'm going to keep on tanning until the color of my nips is no longer a defining darker color. That's how tan I'll get. AND I will tan upside down, to get my feet nice and dark so when I wear my leather AE flip flops it looks like I'm barefoot. THAT's how tan I'll get. The husband's leaving tomorrow to visit his family for the weekend, I warned him that the half naked black woman that he'll see sitting on the sofa, on my computer when he gets back, that'd be me. That's how tan I'll get.

The story behind the title

My husband’s family lives in the neighboring state of Iowa. It's a 7/8 hour drive full of snacks, tunes and lots of laughs so much so that we have to exit often for bathroom breaks. After doing many of these trips we’ve developed a slue of inside jokes from just our car rides alone. Some jokes we continue talking about for weeks, others not worth remembering once we arrive home. The most infamous is the "Hobo" line of hilarity. No one knows who started it. Okay, I won't be nice...it was me I'm the funny one. This blog is set out to prove it. Sorry MILN (Mother-in-law, Namels), he's funny, but I'm hilarious. I get it from my mom, she‘s witty and wise but mostly witty. Back to the story. So we've driving home from a cornland visit and as we exit for gas there stands a homeless person sporting a backpack of his belongings and the trademark cardboard sign. I asked my husband in all seriousness; "Don't you ever want to go up to a Hobo and ask him ‘Where did you get that Sharpie?’" So for the next few hours we came up with a series of Hobo humor that’s been some of the funniest stuff to have ever been said between us. From starting a website that allows it‘s visitors to rate Hobo pictures to questions that we could ask if we were to ever interviewed a hobo. These questions go beyond "What made you homeless?" That would be a lame, and probably not funny question to ask. Of all the questions there are only 2 that I remember (as I said, some things not worth remembering):

"Where did you get that Sharpie?" , "Who are you wearing Hobo?"