Sunday, August 9, 2009

Come-backs gone wild

The hun and I were float trip virgins, until this weekend when we popped our cherries. It was not enjoyable for us. It's not our thing, not in August, not ever. We're campers, we camp the crap outta fall. It's August, it's hot, we're not August campers, and apparently not float trip material. So after a night of soooo little sleep after which we tried to nap in the car before going to the float portion of the float trip. Any day that involves sleeping in your car is not such a good day, period. Fast forward, we're going along in our canoes...we're about 40 min along our supposed 6 hour, 6 mile float trip. The hun and I are among the faster of the floaters, you see we USE those paddles to propel ourselves forward unto the water. It's more of a paddle trip for us, than a float trip. So we get far enough ahead that we can't see most of the group, so we pull off to the side with 2 other couples in our group that use paddles. So we wait there, did I mention that we only know one couple of the 40 people in our group? So yeah, they're not paddlers apparently 'cause they're nowhere in sight. So an hour passes and still haven't seen any members of our group, so we elect a fellow paddler to swim against the current to check on the situation. He returns with the news that the rest of the group has pulled out of water up stream and will come our way shortly. +20 minutes, still no sight of anyone. Pissed. I need at very least a change of scenery, and some shade. Did I mention it's 90 degrees and we're in direct sun? So the paddlers trek on, with intentions of going a little way and pulling over to continue to wait for the others. Hun and I lead the way, until we realize we out-paddle the fellow paddlers. Crap. So we wait, and wait. Then give up and go it our own. So there is the set up, floating virgins, on our own, having not such a fun time. When this happens...

We come upon a bank, where a group of guys has pulled off on the river bank. One particularly cocky loud mouth yells to us: "Everyone's been flashing us when they pass that tree" pointing to a tree just ahead of us.
I turn around to my hun and tell him loud enough so they may hear; "Hear that? They want to see YOUR junk when we pass that tree!"
To that the loud mouth responds; "I don't want to see his, I've got what he's got."

Now I must remind you that he's with his buddies, and we've established that he's the cocky, loud mouthed one. Every group of men has that one guy, and this guy is their's...on with it then...

So he's just said; "I've got what he's got."
"Oh no, [short pause] you don't"

It's the best part of the whole trip, his group instantly uproars in laughter. Hours and hours of mocking start at that moment. He was humiliated by a GIRL, who insulted his JUNK. He was left speechless as we canoed out of sight.

The six mile trip down the river lasted 3 hours for us, we packed up our tent and took off before any others returned. We're so not floaters, or August campers...but what a memorable time, I'm sure his buddies aren't likely to let him forget it.


  1. I don't wanna KNOW where that fellow hadta put the BURN BALM.
    So... October camping then... =)

  2. Oh, I'm so glad you were quick... That would be the sort of thing I would've thought of hours later...